Can you believe its 2019? I hope this year has gotten off to a great start! How are you doing with your word of the year, journal and FINE intentions? It’s still not too late to join in! I don’t know about you but I see my word of the year EVERYWHERE! Remember to journal those moments.
We are on our next letter in our acrostic FINE, the letter N. Remember the old saying of FINE, “freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional”. We are replacing the negative with the positive, “free, influencer, normal and empowered”. You are a FINE woman! LOL!
I have the pleasure of introducing what we mean by “normal”. When Leslie and I were praying about the acrostic and brainstorming, we threw out a bunch of words to see what resonated with us. Normal was one of them. We are normal. Now, how can I explain that? Well, it turns out since I was scheduled to take on the challenge of the word normal, it kept coming up all over the place!
So, here goes….Normal….Let me back up a little bit to the holidays. The holidays are always hard for me. I’m addicted to the Hallmark Channel and all the movies leading up to Christmas day. I watch them all. I shouldn’t watch them. I want a Hallmark movie life. The never ending snow, the massive holiday decorations, the small town tree lightings and holiday parties that are just perfect. The hype is too much some times. I try to replicate the scenes in my own world but to no avail. Each year I make the most of it, but this year I had a meltdown. Yep! I did. By the end of Christmas night I couldn’t stop crying.
On Christmas afternoon I made some obligatory phone calls and just sayin’, it did not have the same result of a Hallmark movie phone call. What transpired I just tucked away deep inside until the evening when it came out in a very unpleasant way, directed at the people I love the most.
The next day during my quiet time with God I confessed my hurt feelings and sorrow. God was comforting and validated my feelings. A few days later I reluctantly shared my feelings and the situation with my dear friend. She validated my feelings. I told her I was embarrassed and she shared her own experiences with me. She said she struggles with the same things within her own family. It hit me right there….in that exchange of a moment, I felt “normal”.
Here is another example from my not so much Hallmark life. I recently shared a fear with my husband. I need to make a big decision and I told him I was scared. He said to me, “what you are feeling is normal”. Normal.
Just from these two examples I realized, I am normal. I know I’ve heard some of you share the same feelings. Fights with a family member, a quarrel with your husband, a fearful decision, and your own not so much Hallmark life. Here is my big revelation about being normal. Yes, these situations are normal but I believe what we choose to do in our next steps sets us apart. Apart into the FINE women we are and are becoming. Yes, overall we are part of a great big group of “normal” woman BUT we choose to do next right thing. We keep moving forward with positive steps.
Looking back at my example from Christmas, I made the choice to share my feelings with my friend. By being vulnerable, honest and raw. I am now sharing with you, my sphere of influence. I’m giving myself permission to relax and be myself. To give back and share my story. I could very easily have kept those feelings to myself and repeated the same scenario next year. My friend even said to me, “thank you for sharing, I feel so much better. I thought I was the only one”. It was a sigh of relief for her too.
My big decision….I can choose to remain in the fear and not move forward. But when my husband validated my feelings and said what I was feeling was normal, I am free to move forward. Even though I am scared, I’ll do it afraid. Everyone is afraid of something. I will choose to have faith over the fear. Even if I fail, I’m sure someone will tell me, “everyone fails, that’s normal”. In that moment I can make the choice to stand up and continue to move forward.
My friend, my FINE sister, you are normal and you are extraordinary. There is no need to compare yourself to anyone. Not even to the Hallmark movie. We are on this life journey together, we don’t have to compare or isolate, thinking no one will understand. Take all that comes your way and choose to stand up and make an impact on your sphere of influence. Share your story and set another FINE woman free from her fears and doubts that are swarming around in her head and say.. “sister, you are normal”.
Oh, by the way, Leslie and I just came off of a 24 hour contemplative retreat. We were invited to sit in on someone’s weekend conference. We were both excited and intrigued. We made it up to the room a bit early and introduced ourselves. The team leader was so nice and welcoming. She pointed to where we should sit, right in the front, on the staging area. She told us to come back at 2:30. So we did. As we were standing outside the door and participants were entering the room, we both looked at each other and said, “nah, let’s leave”. There was a bit of fear deep down in this decision, an awkwardness of sitting on the stage. A new friend we just met at lunch and shared our blog with said, “write about this”. So, here I am to tell you. We didn’t go in that room because of fear and awkwardness and that is normal too!! Just keep moving forward.