Friends or Chosen Family?

Back in April, I was going for my daily “quarantine” walk in my neighborhood with the Hubs. As we were walking, I saw something that triggered a sweet memory from my childhood. I started to think about my neighbor and best friend, Jackie. She literally lived in the house next to me.

If you are from Jersey, you will know how close the houses are. So close, I would lean over the small fence between our alleys and knock on her side door.

We did everything together. We both had swimming pools, we named her pool the “ocean” and mine the “lagoon.” We rode our bikes all over town and pretended they were horses. We went to dancing school together and took our talent to perform our “original shows” in her basement for our families. She would go on vacation with me up and down the east coast, and I would camp with her. We lost touch somewhere along the way. I never forgot about her or our cool adventures.

She passed away a couple of years ago, and when I learned of the news, I was heartbroken. I thought about all of this on my walk. That very evening when I got into bed, I received a Facebook message from her daughter. She forwarded some sweet pictures of Jackie and me. I could not believe my eyes. God was so incredibly gracious to me that day and night. I could not stop looking at the pictures and God’s perfect timing of sending them to me. I rolled over and cried. Since that time, I have not stopped thinking about friendship. I long and desire to have lasting, intimate friendships, and to be the best friend I can be to whoever God sends my way.

There are so many different types of friendships. We have our childhood friends, our school friends, our work friends, acquaintance friends, Facebook friends, our BFF’s and our “soul sister” friends. One definition of a friend is someone who makes your life a little better and sometimes a whole lot better. I love that definition. It reminds me that some friends come into our lives for a season and some for a lifetime.

Each friendship brings something beautiful into the relationship. Friends are chosen "family". Friends encourage and motivate; they comfort and confront. In a deep friendship, you are free to be vulnerable and authentic. Friends forgive and forget. A friend will laugh and cry with you, all in the same conversation. They are there for you at any hour of the day, and they know things about you that maybe no one else on the planet knows.

I have lived in four different states and have made a bunch of friends along the way. I would call these friendships “seasonal friendships.” They are a blessing and a curse, only because, at some point, you have to say goodbye. They are in your life for a season. These friendships leave a massive impression on your heart that will never go away.

Lifetime friends are rare.

There is an unusual depth, bond, and commitment to these types of relationships. You may not see each other every day or even talk, but when you finally meet up, you pick up right where you left off.

The bible has many verses on friendship. Not only will they help us feel encouraged in our friendships, but they will help us aspire to be the very best friend we can be.

Luke 6:31

Do to others as you would have them do to you.

Colossians 3:12-14

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.

Proverbs 17:17

A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Galatians 6:2

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Ecclesiastes 4:9

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.

Proverbs 27:17

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Job 42:10

When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes, giving him twice as much as before.

Jesus is our ultimate friendship. This is an Eternal Friendship. One that you will never lose! God has graced and blessed me with many beautiful friends, but sometimes I still feel lonely. Do you know what I mean? During these times, I must remember how close Jesus is to me and that He calls me friend.

John 15:15

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends…….

John 15:13

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Girls, I hope you take some time this coming week to think about your past and present friendships. Thank God for those people He has placed in your life for a season or for a lifetime. Re-read the bible verses and pray and ask God to teach you how to be the very best, godly friend to those currently in your life and prepare you for those He will send your way. Remember when you are hurting and feel alone, whether real or imagined, that Jesus is your very best friend. He will never leave you or forsake you.

Friendship Day is right around the corner, the first Sunday in August. Mark your calendar for August 2nd and grab your best bud and celebrate! Share a picture with us on Facebook. We are truly blessed to have each other as Eternal Friends!

I love you!

Your friend,


*In loving memory of Jackie.

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